


the sweetest poison

by ndnickerson



Category: Nancy Drew - Carolyn Keene
Genre: Betrayal, Broken Engagement, Cunnilingus, Engagement, F/M, Fellatio, Infidelity, Love Triangles, Oral Sex, Reunion Sex, Reunions, Woman on Top, dishabille
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:07:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21756526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ndnickerson/pseuds/ndnickerson
Summary: Nancy decides she has to stop hurting Ned, and manages to hurt herself even more in the process.
Relationships: Nancy Drew/Frank Hardy, Nancy Drew/Ned Nickerson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	the sweetest poison

Just after four o'clock, Nancy let herself back into her hotel room. Her makeup was smeared, and her hair was a mess.

Oh, God, how had she let this happen.

She stepped out of her sandals and sniffled, her eyes welling up with tears.

_This keeps happening because you want it to,_ he had said, quietly calm and rational. _If you told me to stop I would, but you don't. So why keep pretending?_

At least her underwear had stayed on. At least there was that.

She crossed to the bathroom and flipped on the harsh overhead lights, wincing, her head pounding. Her reflection was blurred by her tears, but she was a wreck, undeniably.

This was going to hurt Ned so much.

_All I do is hurt him. That's all. Over and over._

_And that isn't love._

She started crying in earnest then, in gulping sobs, leaning against the bathroom wall with her palm over her face. The guilt that had ached in her was all-consuming now.

Frank was right. She needed to stop pretending that her attraction to him was a momentary weakness.

And she owed it to Ned... to walk away.

\--

Eight months later, Nancy was looking down at the engagement ring on her finger with a small smile as she approached her apartment door. Bess and George were still at the restaurant, but she was sure they would be home soon, happily drunk and full of congratulations and advice. The party had been loud and happy, and three people had offered toasts to the newly-engaged couple. Joe's had easily been the funniest.

She should be happy.

Nancy shook her head, her brow furrowed, dismissing that stray thought. She _was_ happy. Everything in her life was coming together; everything made sense. This was the next step. Her ring was beautiful. Her fiancé was handsome and loving. It was everything she wanted.

It was everything she was _supposed_ to want.

Nancy shook her head again. The drinks were making her maudlin. After the high of today, it was only natural she should crash.

A figure stepped out of the shadows near her apartment door, and Nancy stumbled backward a step, sobering up some as she sized him up. Tall—

_Ned._ Even before she saw his face and had time to recognize him, her heart did, rising traitorously. It had been eight months since she had seen him, but here, like this... it felt like no time had passed at all.

"Hi." Ned shifted his weight to his other foot, his hands in his pockets, his sweet dark-eyed gaze locked to her face.

"Hi," she replied, her voice soft.

"Sorry, to..." He gestured with a shrug, and she understood, giving him a little nod. She couldn't stop gazing at his face. A wound in her that barely felt healed over was throbbing now, and once he was gone, she would feel it all over again. "I just didn't want to make a scene, or... start anything. Congratulations, Nan," he said, and his voice broke a little at the end of it.

Tears pricked in her eyes. "Come inside," she said, her voice cracking too. "We'll have a drink."

He rocked back on his heels, finally glancing away. "I shouldn't."

"Yeah, you should." She took out her keys and reached for him, giving him a small smile when he looked at her again.

_Don't do this. You're just going to hurt him again._

But what she hadn't known eight months ago, when she wrote him that letter— _I will always care about you but I realized I'm not in love with you anymore, and it's unfair to both of us to keep pretending_ —was that it was all a lie she had been trying to make herself believe. Frank had said the guilt would stop once she ended her relationship with Ned, that they would be free to be together then, but her guilt had never really stopped. She had just become better at blocking it out.

And she did love Frank. But she loved Ned, too, and that love had never been tainted. She had never felt guilty about loving Ned. It had just been _right_.

He hesitated a moment, but followed her inside. The apartment she shared with Bess and George was nice, well-furnished, and actually relatively tidy. Nancy went into the small kitchen and opened a cabinet for a pair of glasses, and the sight of her engagement ring made her stomach clench.

"Name your poison," she joked weakly, glancing over at him with another hesitant smile.

His answering smile was soft, and with a jolt she felt that—that awareness of him she would almost have called telepathy, once upon a time. _You_ , she felt him reply, even though he didn't say it. She swallowed a sudden lump in her throat. "Just water," he said.

She shrugged a little, and drew them both glasses of water. He let her lead him into the main sitting area, where a pair of couches faced a coffee table and a large entertainment system.

"So what have you been up to?"

Ned finished a sip of water. "Just started a new job," he said. "It's been pretty good so far. Looking for a place to live."

"You just graduated, didn't you?"

The patterns of conversation they fell into were easy, even though she could feel the weight of her engagement ring, an unwelcome intrusion into this. Neither of them looked at it. She couldn't make herself look away from him, tracing the lines of his face, feeling almost giddy when he gazed into her eyes.

Maybe it had been wrong—

No, she _knew_ it had been. She had known it was wrong to be with Frank before. She had been so aware of it the entire time, and even now... she had blamed residual guilt, the persistence of the echo. She had always felt that weight lingering over her relationship with Frank, even when she hadn't wanted to.

But looking at Ned tonight, she just felt light. She just wanted him to stay.

She hadn't realized how much she had missed him, how much she wanted him.

During a lull in their conversation, Ned's smile faded and he glanced down at his water glass. "So you're happy," he said, and glanced up at her again. His voice was quiet, his posture—like he was braced for a blow.

Nancy swallowed, pressing her thumb against her engagement ring without looking at it. "I was wrong," she whispered. "I was wrong when I wrote you that letter. I hadn't fallen out of love with you. I just kept hurting you. I was trying to save you."

"Save me?" Ned blinked.

Nancy nodded. "Save you from me. He—" Her voice caught. "He said if I was really in love with you, I wouldn't... still be..." She gestured without finishing the thought.

"And you love him."

Nancy choked back a sob. "Yeah," she admitted, very softly. "And I love you. I always have."

Ned took a loud breath and made a soft humming sound. Without letting herself think too hard about it, she reached over and touched his hand, and he looked up at her.

"Are you happy?"

Another sob caught in her throat. "How could I be, without you," she forced out.

She was looking down when Ned touched her chin, and she brought her head back up, her vision swimming as she looked into his eyes. She swallowed, then gasped in a breath as she saw his gaze drop for a second, as she knew what was in his mind.

They moved toward each other at the same time, his palm cupping her cheek, her arm sliding around his shoulders. Their kiss tasted like her tears, rum, and regret. She didn't regret this; she regretted the past eight months, every day spent compounding that original mistake, trying to force herself to believe she was doing the right thing when she cleaved her heart in half.

When they parted, Nancy chuckled briefly, her eyes shining as she gazed into his. "Are you happy?"

He smiled briefly. "I am now."

Nancy glanced at the door. "Bess and George will be back any minute," she said.

"Do you..."

She gave him a reassuring smile. "I just don't want to be interrupted. Do you want to... go to my room?"

He paused for a second, then nodded. "If you're okay with that."

She reached for his hand, her heart pounding. The small, insistent voice that told her this was a bad idea was drowned out by the hunger in her, the need for him. It had been so long, and seeing him again like this, so unexpectedly, had shaken her to the core. To have a second chance, even if it was just tonight...

"So, privacy—"

As soon as the door was closed, her arms were around him, and he was eagerly returning her kiss. Her hands slid down to his waist, and Ned made a quiet surprised sound as she reached for his fly.

"I love you, baby, and I've missed you so much." Her eyes were swimming as she took a step forward, backing him toward the bed. "Please. Do you..."

He nodded. "I've missed you so much. I just wanted you to be happy, but you hurt me so much..."

She smiled sadly. "When all I wanted to do was stop hurting you."

"It hurts me to not be with you."

She nodded. "Every minute," she whispered. "Every single minute we were apart."

When she pushed his pants down, he didn't protest. She knelt between his legs and kissed the tip of his erection, then swirled her tongue around it.

"I've missed you," she murmured before taking him into her mouth.

Ned chuckled, propping himself up. "And we've missed you," he told her, and she could hear the strain in his voice. His hard-on had already been raging even before she had gotten him half-naked.

She bobbed down four times before swirling her tongue around the head again, then flicking the tip of her tongue against the slit, and Ned groaned loudly. "Shit," he mumbled.

"Mmm," she hummed, and she could feel him tense.

A few minutes later, Ned came with a hoarse cry. Nancy swallowed against the tip of his cock and closed her eyes, working her engagement ring down her finger. As she pulled back, releasing him with a wet pop, the ring fell into the cup of her palm.

Ned released a deep, contented sigh. "You didn't need to do that," he murmured.

"I owe you."

He touched her face. "Don't start that," he murmured. "Get up here so I can eat you out until I'm hard again."

They stripped, with Nancy keeping an ear out in case the cousins returned home anytime soon. Ned paused with his hand on the comforter, about to tug it down.

"Does he—will he—?"

Nancy shook her head. "He doesn't stay here with me, and I... told him I was saving myself for marriage."

Ned's eyebrows almost went up to his hairline.

"I mean, we ended up in bed... once... but didn't get... _that_ far." She was glad it was dark; she had to be glowing from the heat of her blush.

"I want to ask, but..."

She smiled as he pushed the covers down and cupped her hips with his large hands, positioning her in the middle of the bed and gently opening her legs. "I think a part of me was hoping it would never get that far," she admitted softly. "Or that I'd somehow... get okay with it before then."

Ned shook his head. "So, this..." He gazed down at the join of her thighs.

"He's never... experienced."

"Mmm." He kissed her there, gently, and her clit throbbed in answer. Then he draped her legs around his naked waist and moved over her, lavishing her breasts with attention, nipping kisses and stroking licks until his suckling left her hips rolling, seeking him.

Ned pulled back, rolling her nipples with fingers and thumbs as he looked into her eyes. "Condoms?"

She shook her head. "No."

He raised his eyebrows again, a little, and she gave him a firm nod.

He sank to her again, trailing kisses and nipping bites down her chest and belly. He was still fondling her nipples as he traced his tongue against her slit and over her bared, arousal-swelled clit, and she cried out in pleasure.

"God, I've missed that," he growled, then sucked her clit into his mouth.

Nancy tipped her head back, trying to keep her sobs quiet as Ned went down on her. The pleasure was overwhelming, and while her regret and guilt still ached, the strokes of his tongue against her clit, the fondling and caressing of his hands... this was _right._ This had always been right. How had she ever let herself forget that?

She just hadn't wanted to hurt him again... but she had succeeded in hurting him more than she had ever imagined. She had imagined that walking out of his life would allow him to find happiness with someone else, and would punish her for her own sins at the same time.

She cried out, her fingers buried in his hair, her hips weakly thrusting as he brought her to a shattering orgasm. Her womb pulsed and she sobbed, shuddering in pleasure as he flicked his tongue over her clit. A last brief pinch of her nipples left her eyes rolled back as she panted for breath.

She lay with her legs sprawled open, his saliva drying on her skin, as he moved back. She was spent, limp, utterly satisfied, and Ned chuckled as he stretched out at her side. He laced his fingers between hers and she clung to his hand, successfully rolling onto her side after a few attempts to nestle against him.

His thumb stroked against her palm. "I love you," he whispered.

She smiled, her lashes drifting down as a tear slipped from beneath. "I have no right to say this," she whispered, but couldn't force herself to do it.

"To say what?"

She sniffled. "A part of me wishes you had come after me," she whispered. "I think all my resolve would have evaporated if I had just seen you again." She opened her eyes and looked into his face. "Like it did tonight."

He brought his hand up and caressed her cheek. "So it's over?"

She nodded. "Whether... this..."

Her heart ached as she searched his eyes, and he smiled. "Don't you think we've been apart long enough?"

With a delighted gasp, she grinned and hugged him hard. "Yes," she said. "Oh my God, yes. Baby... oh my God, if you hadn't come tonight..."

"You really were miserable, huh."

She nodded. "I kept trying to tell myself it would get better, somehow... but I could never talk myself into it. I thought I deserved to be miserable, after the way I had treated you. That you're... and you are, Ned, you are so much better than I deserve."

He moved and nuzzled against her neck, and at the swipe of his tongue she shuddered. "Shhh," he murmured. "We're here now. And I've missed you so much. I love you."

When she felt his renewed erection press against her belly, she pushed him onto his back and straddled him, gazing down at him. Her heart ached with love at the desire and adoration in his gaze. The flesh between her thighs was so slick with arousal as she took his cock in her hand and guided him into place, then mounted him.

They both moaned, and a second later his hand was sliding up her thigh. Her hips jolted slightly as his thumb grazed her clit, and she slid down to take his full length inside her, leaning down to nuzzle and kiss his neck, his jaw.

"Baby," he sighed. "Oh God. You feel so good."

"Mmm," she moaned in reply. "So do you."

She rode him with slow, smooth thrusts, her movements sensuous, pressing lingering kisses against his skin. He arched and kissed her. His tongue stroked against hers and he kept fondling her clit and she trembled, moving a little faster.

Finally, Ned lost control and rolled her onto her back, still joined to her. She wrapped her legs around him and buried her hand in his hair, overwhelmed by bliss as he moved inside her. At the first pulse of her orgasm, his thumb moved in slow, deliberate brushes over her clit, and she let out a deep groan of pleasure.

"Baby," Ned gasped.

"Come," she begged him. "Come inside me, baby."

He thrust inside her a few more times, still fondling her clit, and she trembled in joy, her lips parted as she moaned. Then he sank to her and she wrapped her arms around him, clinging to him.

They just relaxed for a long time, not speaking, still joined. She had her eyes closed, and she was spent and drowsy, and actually _happy_ for the first time in so very long. Idly she stroked her fingers through his hair, over and over, feeling him breathe against her.

They heard the apartment's main door open and close, and Ned stirred slightly. "Mmm," Nancy said. "It's okay, they won't bother us."

He relaxed, reaching for the sheet after he rolled off her. "Here," he murmured.

When his stomach growled, she grinned at him. "Guess that glass of water was a long time ago," she teased him.

"Something like that. Do you—"

"Nancy?"

Nancy froze for a second. Frank was in the apartment. She hadn't given him a key, but it would have been fairly easy for him to break in, and if he had tried to call her—well, her phone was still in her purse, in silent mode, near the front door.

Ned's eyes widened. When she didn't make any move to get out of bed, get dressed, or call out to him, Ned relaxed again.

Then the door of her bedroom opened, and Nancy clutched at the sheet, making sure she was covered, even if she was obviously naked beneath.

"I—" Frank stopped in the doorway, his own eyes widening as he took in the sight of the two of them.

_"What?"_

Carefully, Nancy sat up. "This... wasn't working," she began, and cringed and how trite it sounded, even if it was true.

Frank snorted. "How long has _this_ been going on?"

Nancy gasped and narrowed her eyes. "It _hasn't_ ," she retorted. "Not that you have any space to talk."

Frank leaned against the doorframe. He raised his eyebrows and made a slight gesture for her to continue.

Nancy shook her head. "I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't do this to hurt you. But what happened between us... was a mistake."

Frank made an incredulous sound. "And this isn't?"

Nancy shook her head again. She found the engagement ring she had left on her bedside table and offered it to Frank, who just shook his head.

"When you sober up, when you realize what you've done... call me." He made a disgusted sound and turned around, leaving her door open. A moment later, she heard the front door slam.

"Shit," she muttered.

"Mmm?"

"Now I have to go check the front door and make sure it's locked," she muttered.

Ned chuckled, sliding out of bed and reaching for her robe and his boxers. "And how would you feel about delivery pizza?"

"With breadsticks, you're on."

Nancy had just reached the front door to find it swinging open. Bess and George walked in.

"Talk about keeping a low profile," Ned muttered.

Bess laughed with glee. "Oh my God," she chortled. "Did Frank find you two like this?"

Ned shook his head. "No. In bed."

Bess clapped, still laughing, and collapsed to the couch. George just rolled her eyes and headed toward the kitchen.

Nancy glanced between Bess and Ned. "Why... aren't you surprised to see him," she said slowly.

"Because you've been miserable for months now," Bess said. "Especially in the last few weeks. I called Ned and told him that if he cared about you, he should come see you. And..." She gestured. "Well, this is..."

"Unexpected?"

Bess shook her head. "Pretty perfect, actually."

George walked back in carrying water glasses and handed one to Bess. "And she persuaded Frank to come up here tonight," George admitted.

Nancy's eyebrows rose. "Wow."

"What? You _refused_ to listen to reason, and you were so unhappy. I don't know why you decided that you deserved Frank when you could have..." Bess gestured at Ned.

"Me either," Nancy admitted.

"I've always said you two were meant to be together. I just had to get you out of your own way." Bess beamed and took a sip of her water.

Nancy and Ned looked at each other. "So you weren't here tonight by chance."

Ned shook his head. "But I needed to know whether Bess was right," he said. "I do want you to be happy. And if walking back out of your life would have done it..." He sighed. "I would have. As much as it hurt."

Nancy reached for Ned's hand and laced her fingers with his, giving him a squeeze. "I think this calls for another pizza."

Bess brightened. "I'm not sure today could _get_ any better."

**Author's Note:**

> This story was originally published elsewhere (see my bio). If you enjoyed it, please consider leaving feedback!


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